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Title: I Can't Lose Him Too (8/?)
Series: Daddy's Girl
Characters: Ten2 and his daughter Sarah (OC), AU Donna, AU River, AU Jack, mentions of Rose
Genre: Character Study. Angst
Rating: PG
Summary: Sarah has an average day at school, but what happens when she gets a phone call.
Author's Note: This is the third in the "Daddy's Girl" Series.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4| Chapter 5| Chapter 6|Chapter 7
Lilly didn’t say much on the walk to the elevators or the ride up to the intensive care unit, which was two floors above the children’s ward. She walked dutifully by my side, not relenting her grip on my hand. She wore a look of pure determination and something that looked like hope.
“You ready?” I asked her, once we were finally outside the closed doors that led into Dad’s room.
She nodded, but she didn’t look so sure.
“You don’t have to go in if you don’t want to,” I told her, but she shook her head defiantly.
“The Doctor didn’t have to either, but he always did for me,” Lilly pointed out to me, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“Okay, then,” I muttered, more to myself than her.
I turned the knob slowly, and I’m not even sure why. I told myself at the time that it was incase Lilly changed her mind at the last second and didn’t want to see Dad. But, the voice inside my head told me it was because of my own fears. The fear of seeing that look of no recognition on the face of the man that I had trusted and loved for seventeen years made me want to curl up in a ball and hide forever.
Finally, my hand stopped listening to my brain’s apprehension and opened the door. Dad was sleeping soundly in the middle of the bed. The thin covers pulled part way up his chest exposing the striped pattern of this hospital gown. His hair was lying flat on his head, but fluttering slightly in the breeze caused by the air conditioner keeping the room very frosty.
I knelt by his side, and motioned for Lilly to join me next to him, as I help her crawl into one of the chairs.
“Hey,” I whispered softly, and watched as his eyes fluttered open and fell on my face. He smiled, but the usual joy was gone.
“Hello,” he whispered, and he looked around my shoulder and his eyes fell on Lilly. “And, hello to you too.”
He grinned foolishly for a minute before he froze in fear.
“You’re not my daughter too are you?” he forced a chuckle through his lips, but when Lilly shook her head; he gave a visible sigh of relief.
“I’m Lilly,” she replied, as she stared at Dad.
I can’t imagine what was running through her mind as she watched Dad’s confused expression in trying to put her face with a memory he couldn’t find. I would have said she looked sad, but in all honesty she just seemed confused. She seemed disbelieving that the man who had once been a stranger, but had somehow grown into her best friend could have possibly forgotten her.
“She’s your friend,” I clarified for Dad. “You visited her a lot when she was in the hospital, but she’s going home for a while and she wanted to say goodbye.”
Dad nodded slowly, as a smile spread on his face and something clicked for him as he reached past Lilly and pulled out a piece of paper folded in on the dresser.
“Did you make me that lovely picture,” Dad asked, as he stifled a tired yawn.
“Yep, it’s about reading Hamlet with me, and you and Sarah.”
“It was lovely, and you know what?”
“What?” Lilly asked eagerly, as she jumped a little in excitement.
“I drew you something as well,” Dad replied, handing Lilly the folded up piece of paper and smiling. “I figured you were a girl,
because of all the pink you used so…well, see for yourself.”
Lilly looked at Dad for a moment before unfolding the paper and exposing what Dad had drawn in pencil. The colors were shaded to a science, and the shadow work blew me away. The butterfly’s wing’s gave the since of just being caught in motion. Every detail was perfect and accurate if it wasn’t for what the butterfly held in its hand. It grasped in its grip what looked like a phaser from Star
Trek, and the expression on its face seemed very cross.
“They’re evil you know,” Dad whispered in her ear, just loud enough for me to hear.
Lilly beams at Dad, and scrambles onto his bed to give him a hug, and I almost do the same. It was at that moment that I realized her was still there, and my plan might just work.
Lilly and Dad talk for a while before another knock on the door comes, and someone walks in. I glance up to see River grinning at the Doctor, as he stares at her with confusion and just a hint of fear.
“Lilly, I think it’s time for you to get back to your parents,” I told the disappointed child, but she nodded obediently.
“Bye, Doctor,” she whispered, hugging his closely to her. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too,” Dad replied, as he returned the hug with sincerity despite having (from his perspective) only met her today. “I hope you get well and stay well.”
“Same goes for you.”
Dad chuckled and released her. I took her hand and led her out of the room, giving River a short greeting on our way.
***
I returned to Dad’s room after I took Lilly back to her parents. They seemed rather grateful that she was happy to have finally seen him. I spent a few minutes explaining to them more thoroughly what was really wrong with him now that he was finally recovering. They were very sympathetic, but not to the point that I even questioned their sincerity. I figured they must have known what it was like.
It was nearing 6:45 by the time I walked into his room, and I only had another forty-five minutes left in the visiting hours, so I was glad to see that Dad was awake even though he was currently accompanied by River.
“Hi Dad,” I greeted him, as I knelt next to him and gave River a nod, which she politely returned.
“Hi, Sarah,” Dad greeted sleepily, as he began to slip farther down the bed and deeper into the covers.
“You should rest,” River told him. “I’ll take Sarah home.”
I crossed my fingers and hoped that Dad would decline.
“No, that’s okay,” Dad told her. “Why don’t you leave us alone for a while? I’m sure Sarah was responsible enough to get a ride home, right?”
I nodded eagerly.
“See you later River,” Dad replied with a smile.
She reached down to hug him goodbye, and he returned it stiffly. She murmured goodbye to me as well and left. Her heals clicked down the hallway until they were inaudible. I turned my attention back to Dad, as he smiled sadly at me.
“Hey, don’t worry,” I told him. “She always comes back, sorta like a rash if you ask me, but, I know she makes you happy…”
I trailed off when I saw him shake his head.
“I’m not upset about River leaving,” he assured me, his voice took on a slight quiver as he blew out a long breath and began to speak again. “I’m upset that I’m failing you.”
I took his hands.
“You’re not failing me,” I almost yelled.
“Aren’t I?” He challenged. “I…don’t even remember you…what kind of a father doesn’t remember his own daughter?”
“You will,” I promised him, and placed his hand on my face. “You do.”
The faith and confidence in my voice did not match what I felt inside, but I knew this was exactly what Dad needed to hear.
“Look at me,” I told him. “Feel my face, hear my voice, and what do you see who do you see.”
Dad stared at me for a long time before he muttered an answer I couldn’t distinguish.
“What?” I asked him gently, pressing his hand more firmly against my face.
“Rose,” he answered, and a tear fell down. “That’s who I see, but I don’t see you, Sarah. I’m sorry, so sorry.”
More tears began to fall down, but I only pulled him into a tight hug.
“That’s who you always see, Dad,” I told him. “You’ve been telling me that since I was a little girl, Dad, and I know you’re in there. Your memories are still there, and I have a pretty good idea on how to get them out.”
“How?” He asked, as he realized the position he was in and drew himself away and wiped his face of any sign that he had ever shed a tear.
“I’ve got these.”
I slid my backpack to the floor and pulled out the box that Dad proposed with.
“D’you remember this?” I asked and he nodded.
“I proposed to Rose with that box,” he told me surely.
“You did,” I confirmed and opened it and extracted Mum’s wedding ring. “With this ring.”
He reached out and I laid the ring in his hand, and watched as he rolled it around with the tip of his finger on his palm. It matched the one he never took off of his third finger. The same intricate patterns he had carved in with the sonic screwdriver he had built swirled around the circumference of each of them.
“I still don’t…”
“I know, that was to get you to believe in me, but this will,” I told him, as I pulled Mum’s TARDIS key.
I took the ring back from his proffered hands and slid it carefully back in the box.
Holding the key up to the light, it began to glow with a bright golden light that made me feel warm and content. I placed it in his hand, and covered it with mine. The warmth radiated between the two of us and we fell together.
Series: Daddy's Girl
Characters: Ten2 and his daughter Sarah (OC), AU Donna, AU River, AU Jack, mentions of Rose
Genre: Character Study. Angst
Rating: PG
Summary: Sarah has an average day at school, but what happens when she gets a phone call.
Author's Note: This is the third in the "Daddy's Girl" Series.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4| Chapter 5| Chapter 6|Chapter 7
Lilly didn’t say much on the walk to the elevators or the ride up to the intensive care unit, which was two floors above the children’s ward. She walked dutifully by my side, not relenting her grip on my hand. She wore a look of pure determination and something that looked like hope.
“You ready?” I asked her, once we were finally outside the closed doors that led into Dad’s room.
She nodded, but she didn’t look so sure.
“You don’t have to go in if you don’t want to,” I told her, but she shook her head defiantly.
“The Doctor didn’t have to either, but he always did for me,” Lilly pointed out to me, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“Okay, then,” I muttered, more to myself than her.
I turned the knob slowly, and I’m not even sure why. I told myself at the time that it was incase Lilly changed her mind at the last second and didn’t want to see Dad. But, the voice inside my head told me it was because of my own fears. The fear of seeing that look of no recognition on the face of the man that I had trusted and loved for seventeen years made me want to curl up in a ball and hide forever.
Finally, my hand stopped listening to my brain’s apprehension and opened the door. Dad was sleeping soundly in the middle of the bed. The thin covers pulled part way up his chest exposing the striped pattern of this hospital gown. His hair was lying flat on his head, but fluttering slightly in the breeze caused by the air conditioner keeping the room very frosty.
I knelt by his side, and motioned for Lilly to join me next to him, as I help her crawl into one of the chairs.
“Hey,” I whispered softly, and watched as his eyes fluttered open and fell on my face. He smiled, but the usual joy was gone.
“Hello,” he whispered, and he looked around my shoulder and his eyes fell on Lilly. “And, hello to you too.”
He grinned foolishly for a minute before he froze in fear.
“You’re not my daughter too are you?” he forced a chuckle through his lips, but when Lilly shook her head; he gave a visible sigh of relief.
“I’m Lilly,” she replied, as she stared at Dad.
I can’t imagine what was running through her mind as she watched Dad’s confused expression in trying to put her face with a memory he couldn’t find. I would have said she looked sad, but in all honesty she just seemed confused. She seemed disbelieving that the man who had once been a stranger, but had somehow grown into her best friend could have possibly forgotten her.
“She’s your friend,” I clarified for Dad. “You visited her a lot when she was in the hospital, but she’s going home for a while and she wanted to say goodbye.”
Dad nodded slowly, as a smile spread on his face and something clicked for him as he reached past Lilly and pulled out a piece of paper folded in on the dresser.
“Did you make me that lovely picture,” Dad asked, as he stifled a tired yawn.
“Yep, it’s about reading Hamlet with me, and you and Sarah.”
“It was lovely, and you know what?”
“What?” Lilly asked eagerly, as she jumped a little in excitement.
“I drew you something as well,” Dad replied, handing Lilly the folded up piece of paper and smiling. “I figured you were a girl,
because of all the pink you used so…well, see for yourself.”
Lilly looked at Dad for a moment before unfolding the paper and exposing what Dad had drawn in pencil. The colors were shaded to a science, and the shadow work blew me away. The butterfly’s wing’s gave the since of just being caught in motion. Every detail was perfect and accurate if it wasn’t for what the butterfly held in its hand. It grasped in its grip what looked like a phaser from Star
Trek, and the expression on its face seemed very cross.
“They’re evil you know,” Dad whispered in her ear, just loud enough for me to hear.
Lilly beams at Dad, and scrambles onto his bed to give him a hug, and I almost do the same. It was at that moment that I realized her was still there, and my plan might just work.
Lilly and Dad talk for a while before another knock on the door comes, and someone walks in. I glance up to see River grinning at the Doctor, as he stares at her with confusion and just a hint of fear.
“Lilly, I think it’s time for you to get back to your parents,” I told the disappointed child, but she nodded obediently.
“Bye, Doctor,” she whispered, hugging his closely to her. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too,” Dad replied, as he returned the hug with sincerity despite having (from his perspective) only met her today. “I hope you get well and stay well.”
“Same goes for you.”
Dad chuckled and released her. I took her hand and led her out of the room, giving River a short greeting on our way.
***
I returned to Dad’s room after I took Lilly back to her parents. They seemed rather grateful that she was happy to have finally seen him. I spent a few minutes explaining to them more thoroughly what was really wrong with him now that he was finally recovering. They were very sympathetic, but not to the point that I even questioned their sincerity. I figured they must have known what it was like.
It was nearing 6:45 by the time I walked into his room, and I only had another forty-five minutes left in the visiting hours, so I was glad to see that Dad was awake even though he was currently accompanied by River.
“Hi Dad,” I greeted him, as I knelt next to him and gave River a nod, which she politely returned.
“Hi, Sarah,” Dad greeted sleepily, as he began to slip farther down the bed and deeper into the covers.
“You should rest,” River told him. “I’ll take Sarah home.”
I crossed my fingers and hoped that Dad would decline.
“No, that’s okay,” Dad told her. “Why don’t you leave us alone for a while? I’m sure Sarah was responsible enough to get a ride home, right?”
I nodded eagerly.
“See you later River,” Dad replied with a smile.
She reached down to hug him goodbye, and he returned it stiffly. She murmured goodbye to me as well and left. Her heals clicked down the hallway until they were inaudible. I turned my attention back to Dad, as he smiled sadly at me.
“Hey, don’t worry,” I told him. “She always comes back, sorta like a rash if you ask me, but, I know she makes you happy…”
I trailed off when I saw him shake his head.
“I’m not upset about River leaving,” he assured me, his voice took on a slight quiver as he blew out a long breath and began to speak again. “I’m upset that I’m failing you.”
I took his hands.
“You’re not failing me,” I almost yelled.
“Aren’t I?” He challenged. “I…don’t even remember you…what kind of a father doesn’t remember his own daughter?”
“You will,” I promised him, and placed his hand on my face. “You do.”
The faith and confidence in my voice did not match what I felt inside, but I knew this was exactly what Dad needed to hear.
“Look at me,” I told him. “Feel my face, hear my voice, and what do you see who do you see.”
Dad stared at me for a long time before he muttered an answer I couldn’t distinguish.
“What?” I asked him gently, pressing his hand more firmly against my face.
“Rose,” he answered, and a tear fell down. “That’s who I see, but I don’t see you, Sarah. I’m sorry, so sorry.”
More tears began to fall down, but I only pulled him into a tight hug.
“That’s who you always see, Dad,” I told him. “You’ve been telling me that since I was a little girl, Dad, and I know you’re in there. Your memories are still there, and I have a pretty good idea on how to get them out.”
“How?” He asked, as he realized the position he was in and drew himself away and wiped his face of any sign that he had ever shed a tear.
“I’ve got these.”
I slid my backpack to the floor and pulled out the box that Dad proposed with.
“D’you remember this?” I asked and he nodded.
“I proposed to Rose with that box,” he told me surely.
“You did,” I confirmed and opened it and extracted Mum’s wedding ring. “With this ring.”
He reached out and I laid the ring in his hand, and watched as he rolled it around with the tip of his finger on his palm. It matched the one he never took off of his third finger. The same intricate patterns he had carved in with the sonic screwdriver he had built swirled around the circumference of each of them.
“I still don’t…”
“I know, that was to get you to believe in me, but this will,” I told him, as I pulled Mum’s TARDIS key.
I took the ring back from his proffered hands and slid it carefully back in the box.
Holding the key up to the light, it began to glow with a bright golden light that made me feel warm and content. I placed it in his hand, and covered it with mine. The warmth radiated between the two of us and we fell together.
