Fic: The Doctor and His Time Ladies (Chapter 1)

[country_who]

Title: The Doctor and His Time Ladies
Author: country_who
Rating: PG
Word Count (This chapter): 3569
Genre: AU, Actions/Adventure
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Rose, Tenth Doctor, Human Doctor, Rose, Jenny
Summary: AU Journey's End. Rose gets trapped in the TARDIS instead of Donna and now holds the mind of a Time Lord protected by the Bad Wolf, but what happens when the human Doctor dies, and the Time Lord tries to take her to a planet to get her mind off of him, and fulfill a promise? Does the Doctor have more to lose than gain? 
Author's Note: Thanks to othermewriter who solidified the main ideas swimming in the soup I call my brain. 
ETA: More thanks to othermewriter for catching my grammar fails in this chapter. 

Catch Up Here:

Prologue 

 Strong arms wrapped around Rose Tyler, while she let more tears fall down her already tear-stained face. They burned like rivers of lava down her face, a fire that couldn’t be quenched. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. At one time, Rose felt sure that the universe couldn’t be that cruel, but in her travels on and off the TARDIS she knew that it was always cruel. One success was a failure, and one heart’s joy was another’s heart break.

            “It’s not fair,” she mumbled into the Doctor’s suit, knowing fully of the futility of the words, but still needing them to come out.

            Long fingers gently rubbed small circles into her back and did their best to sooth her. The smooth fabric of his suit was inviting, and welcoming her to continue to fall into the embrace. There was no safer place in the universe for her now, but that didn’t matter. She wasn’t the one who needed protecting. She had the power of the mind of a Time Lord, the strength to hold it by the Bad Wolf, and what did John have? Nothing anymore.  

            Where was the protection when he needed it? He saved the universe, protected the world and died, not from the battle, but from the stupid universe’s own laws. Every now and then there was a miracle granted, a life spared when one of those laws wasn’t broken, but twisted--bent. They could be flexible, Rose understood that more than anyone, so why not now? Why not for the one man who protected and saved the universe more than anyone else.

            “I know,” the Doctor muttered into her ears. “I know, and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

            An unexpected shake of the head came next. Rose looked at him, spite filled and pain driven. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine, if I hadn’t expelled so much Bad Wolf energy into him when he was formed… if I had known… He’d have had a chance… I ki-”

            The Doctor cut her off. “Never think that Rose Tyler, not for one second.” A small smirk flitted across his lips, while he locked onto her eyes. “I think you got too much of my brain.”

            Rose scratched the back of her neck and dropped her fingers when she realized who she was mimicking. She rolled her eyes at herself and wiped the tears from her eyes.

            “After everything I’ve seen, you’d think I’d be softened to it by now. I’m sorry,” Rose said, taking a deep breath and biting her lip.

            He shook his head and began leading her to her old bedroom. His hand somehow found its way into hers. The touch was almost hesitant, and he couldn’t help but fidget slightly on the balls of his feet. Rose gave him a gentle squeeze of reassurance and let the Doctor step inside with her.

            “Rose, you want to have this pain,” he stopped, as if wondering if he should continue, but judging by the doubt in her face she needed to listen to his words. “It makes you human. It means you can care and love and do all those things that humans can.”

            “And, Time Lords can’t?” Rose whispered the words, guilt washed over her for bringing it up, but she couldn’t get the thought out of her mind, especially after what John said.

            “Get some sleep,” the Doctor said, letting go of Rose’s hand and wrapping her into a final hug.

            “Good night, Doctor.”

            “Night, Rose Tyler.”

~//~

            The light in Rose Tyler’s room still permeated into the hallway from under the door crack. Every now and then there was a gentle shuffling of papers in an otherwise silent room. Rose Tyler shifted in the bed and reached for a different stack of small printed pictures. She set her other stack back inside the same drawer, which she had kept filled with the memories of another life, a better life.

            It seemed like such a long time since she had been the naïve young teenager who ran away with a man in a blue box. A piece of her had awoken from years of sleep. Not only was this a new stage for her life, but was it a new stage of the universe’s life. It was up to her if that stage was going to turn into a time of glory or a time of suffering. She prayed for the former, but with what she had learned today, maybe you couldn’t have one without causing the other for someone else.

            She pushed the thoughts aside and looked down at the pictures sitting in her lap.

            The first image in the stack was of her first Doctor, standing on a frozen sea with only a dark purple jumper on. She could still clearly see him—all short hair and steel blue eyes filled with emotional scars—in her mind’s eye without the aid of a photograph. She could almost feel the smooth, worn leather of his battered jacket gently brushing against her wrist the way it did when he twisted their arms into one. It was supple, yet battered, not unlike his hand resting in hers.

            On the day the picture was taken, however, it wasn’t the outside of the jacket that she was feeling it was the inside. The high and mighty Time Lord had promised temperate weather and ended up on one of the coldest planets in the universe. She had raved about Woman Wept to Mickey, but in truth it was just one big mistake, albeit the best kind of mistake.

            He wrapped the jacket around her shivering shoulders and entwined a protective arm around her waist to keep her from slipping on the ice. She had briefly inquired if he was going to become cold, but only gave her a smirk and haughty laugh. His exact words were ‘my people never got cold.’ Thirty minutes later, one shivering Time Lord was trying to get warm in front of the TARDIS’s television watching the Star Wars original trilogy with Rose.

            The last thing that Rose remembered was the Doctor gently coaxing a mug of hot chocolate from her hands, wrapping his left arm around her and letting her drift off to sleep. He was sitting there when she opened her eyes, still in the exact position that he had been in when she slipped away into her dreams.

            She had long been free of the ache when she thought of that version of the Doctor, the one that was with her now was plenty enough for her to love. Instead, she thought of him as a friend from school, they were close, but eventually the friend would change and they would drift apart. The Doctor no longer needed someone to heal his heart; he needed someone to hold his hand instead.

            The next picture was this Doctor, wild, brown hair and a smile to melt the heart of female population on any planet. He was spinning standing on the captain’s chair with his arms out stretched. His mouth was agape while he shouted something wordlessly. His mirth filled eyes were practically glowing. The picture was slightly blurred, because Rose was the one to snap the photo, but couldn’t stop giggling at the Doctor’s actions. After three trips that ended in being chased back into the TARDIS, the Doctor had proclaimed that his jeopardy friendly companion and himself needed a day off. Quickly, he had engulfed Rose in giggles with his over dramatic acting of plays he proclaimed he wrote, but only made it big in the Scarlet System.

            It was days like the one preserved in this imaged that filled Rose’s mind with the idea that maybe he was human. Deep down, he was just like her.  They were one in the same; their lives wouldn’t be torn apart eventually by the universe’s cruel fate. 

            The Doctor had always told her that he didn’t do domestic, but then why did John say he wanted to? It wasn’t just her thoughts leaching into his, because he said this body. Was the Doctor hiding something deeper? Was he too afraid to share it with her? Was it her place to even ask him?

            When she stood on that beach and confessed her feelings towards him, she could almost hear his reply floating on the breeze, but maybe she had just imagined it.

            Unfulfilled love, how cliché.

~//~

            Converse sneakers attached to pinstripe-clad legs were sticking out from under the console of the TARDIS. The Daleks had really done a number on her. He could tell because she hadn’t even attempted to electrocute him for a wandering hand or an eye lingering a bit too long on her circuits.

            “I don’t know why you do that,” the Doctor grumbled to her, trying to coax her out of the mood that she had worked herself into. “We’ve been together long enough, I know you better than anyone else.”

            A hum a contradiction met his ears and made him drop his spanner.

            “What d’you mean I’m not?” the Doctor said affronted, and glaring up at the thermo-cufflinks. “How long have we spent together?”

            The next message was clear. A pink and yellow girl with a smile big enough to outshine the sun and cause both hearts in his chest to melt filled his mind’s eye. Her eyes were bright and shining before her image slowly morphed into a wolf howling at the moon. His heart ached as he thought about what might have happened to Rose if luck hadn’t been in their favor. She could have burned; he could have lost her forever. He wouldn’t have anyone else to…

            He wouldn’t allow himself to finish the thought, and his ship chastised him with a sharp prod into his consciousness.

            “Hey,” the Doctor said, annoyed. “That’s not funny.”

            The ship shot sparks at his accusations and told him it wasn’t her, it was Rose. The Doctor protested, but suddenly he was aware of the new Time Lord mind that was running through her head. She might be able to hold it with the Bad Wolf, but couldn’t be sure on how to handle it.

            Gently, he reached out to brush against her mind with him “Rose.” The word was simple, and soft, as to not alarm her.

            “Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, help me, don’t leave, Doctor, don’t hurt me, Doctor! No please!” the words were sharp enough that they caused him to hit his head against the console. Before he could comprehend it, the Doctor was on his feet and running down the hallway. His converse sneakers made a racket on the metal grating of the floor.

            “Not him…not the Doctor… failure… pain… never…”

            The whole trip to Rose’s room, he couldn’t help but running every possible situation that could be happening to her in his mind. What if she there was a teleport breech in the hull, or an alien managed to slip through when the TARDIS’s defenses were down? What if they were both wrong and her brain was burning up now too?

            He didn’t even bother knocking the door, just forced his way through the door, and his breath caught in his chest.

~//~

             Rose Tyler was running—bolting—forcing her feet to move faster and faster, than anyone would have believed. She didn’t have a choice in the matter, fear was ripping though her, forcing her feet to pound on relentlessly. Why did she have to get this wrong? Why were there so many universes to land on? And, why didn’t any of them feel like home?

            She was closer than she had been before in this universe, but for once in her life she wished that she wasn’t. He was so different from the carefree man that she had fallen in love with. It wasn’t that he was broken like he was when they first met. It wasn’t pain that was driving him now. It was anger.

            The Time Lords were alive, so alive and so hateful. The Doctor had only one trait similar to this imposter; they were both rebellious. He ran away from the reign of the controlling Time Lords, and tried to start his own, lording it over the Earth. His picture, with abhorrence etched on every corner of his face, was plastered everywhere on posters. It was hard to fathom that he was on this planet to hide away.

            His features were hard like they were carved from stone; the only sign of weakness was a single, long scar running just below his left eye. It was pale, standing out almost white against his battle-hardened skin.

            After asking around Rose found out that the Doctor’s head quarters were actually in London—his strange attachment to the city didn’t seem to end here. Surely she would figure out what twisted thing was going on in this universe. Surely someone else was behind this. Someone was using his face and his words. He would never do this, her Doctor couldn’t.

            The dream seemed to twist in her brain and she moved back in time, until she was facing him again.  

            Her first instinct was to run straight into his arms, embrace him and never let go. But, the words that fell from his mouth, without a hint of regret or compassion stopped her dead in her tracks. “Shoot her.”

            The dream propelled her back to where she had started, bolting down the middle of the street, in the dead of night. Tears streamed down her face and blood pouring from her right shoulder. She looked down to see her arm was dangling at an unnatural angle. She couldn’t feel her fingers, and her sight was beginning to become hazy around the edges.

            “Rose,” the words cut through her subconscious. They were calm gentle, not like the spiteful words of the familiar stranger. She was about to turn around, but she didn’t allow herself the hope. She couldn’t.

            “Rose,” the word came again, so gentle and so sure that the Rose fell to her knees.

            The universe was cruel and it lied, but she couldn’t take it. Over and over, she screamed his name and waited for him to answer again, but she didn’t. There was only a light pressure on her shoulder and endless warmth.

~//~

            Shaking on the bed and gripping tightly to her shoulder, was Rose Tyler. Her mouth was open in a silent scream while she flailed. Her blonde hair was stuck to her forehead and her face was flushed his fear. Her legs were wrapped up in knots around her too-cheerful-sheets from trying to run away from an unknown assailant. Her left arm, which she let flail out struck the dresser and knocked a pile of pictures fluttering to the floor. Without a moment’s hesitation he was sitting next to her, gently shaking her shoulder, but when she didn’t respond to him, and the Doctor was forced to give her a stronger shove.

            Rose cried out and caught the Doctor in his eye with a fist before he was able to hold her down and finally convince her back into reality. He ran his hands up and down her back, while he dragged her up into his arms. He slumped next to her on the side of the bed, with the mattress groaning with their combined weight. He felt her tears slowly wetting through his shirt and leaving wet patches. He rested his chin on her forehead, while he protectively held her against him.

            “I’m sorry,” Rose whispered against his chest, and continued on to call herself childish, claiming that she should have grown out of this after everything she had done and everything she had seen. The Doctor couldn’t help himself from pulling back and gripping her shoulders roughly and meeting her gaze.

            “You want that pain Rose, it means you’re human. It means that you care,” the Doctor implored to her.

            Rose nodded, while the Doctor gently cupped his hand underneath her chin and drew her face up to look into his eyes. They were the same as the ones that had struck unimaginable fear into her core that night, the same that shattered her heart. Yet, they were different, instead of hate they were filled with care and concern for her. The deep brown orbs held all of his emotions wrapped in a tiny little package, like a present half open, giving way to a wealth of treasures hidden just beneath the cover.  

            “Doctor,” Rose whispered finally, letting her hand reach up and trail down his face, just below his left eye. She sighed while she took her first finger and gently ran it over the smooth skin. The only blemishes she found were the familiar freckles that were scattered as randomly as the stars across his skin and the red spot that was beginning to bruise where her knuckles has caught his cheekbone.  

            He gave her a smile a confirmation. “Always,” his voice was equally low, while he covered her hand with his and drew it up to cover his cheek.

            Suddenly, as if drawn by an invisible force, Rose wrapped her arms around the Doctor’s neck and rested her chin on his shoulders. Fresh tears of relief poured down her cheek and splashed onto the brown fabric of his suit.

            “Tell me,” he muttered, his voice was almost desperate, gently coaxing while wiping away her tears with the pads of his thumbs. “Please.”

            Her head moved from side to side, while their expressions swapped to where Rose’s face was full of concern and the Doctor’s was pleading.

            “I can’t do that to you,” Rose said seriously. “Never.”

            “And, I can’t let you be hurt,” the Doctor retorted, letting the weight of his promises sink in.

            Rose hesitated for a brief second, but eventually she scooted closer to the Doctor, rested her head on his shoulder, and began to tell him the whole story. He never interrupted her, just listened silently. Every now and then, as she reached a particularly horrific part of her dimension travelling days, she would feel his hand tighten around hers in comfort.

            Part of him didn’t want to listen to all the pain that Rose had been through. He wanted to curl up and cover his ears, make the memories leach from his brain forever, and pretend it never happened. Not just for him, but for Rose to forget to. However, a bigger portion of him solely wanted to be there to hold her hand, like he had for all those years before.

            When Rose had finally finished, the Doctor could feel her hand trembling under his. He squeezed her hand tighter and kissed the top of her head silently. Despite her shaking, he could tell that she was better for telling him what had happened, because she started to laugh slightly.

            “I think you were wrong, before, I mean, when we were in that alternate universe, where Dad survived, met Mum, but never had me,” Rose said with a genuine tone, and took her other hand brought it over the Doctor’s that was already covering her other hand. “You said none of the universes could get it right, but this one did. You know why? This one is home.

            It was the only one that I could truly smile in when I reached it. It was where I needed to be. Even the air is different back on Earth, the speed it turns beneath your feet and how much the stars tug at you.”

            The Doctor grinned. “That’s the Bad Wolf, letting you see and feel the world, that’s why I came, you were calling me, subconsciously, but still, you need to learn to control yourself a bit better, Rose. Not, saying that you won’t be able to talk or call to me again, in fact, you should have an even easier time about it, but you wouldn’t want every psychic creature able to read your every thought, would you?”

            The words fell out of the Doctor’s mouth in rush, while he perked up and went back to his usual hyper ways. It forced Rose out of her melancholy and made her smile along, as he leaped to his feet and took her hand in his leading her out of her room and into the library.

            “It’s simple really, protecting yourself, most of its subconscious, all it takes is just me going in and triggering that switch inside your brain and making you build walls against your thoughts. Then, when you want to talk to me, you’ll just have to concentrate, overcome the subconscious thought and baddaboomba, you’ll be a top notch psychic communicator.”

            “Baddaboomba?” Rose said teasingly, while she bit down and exposed the pink flesh of her tongue.

            “It’s a word,” the Doctor protested, his words rising in pitch from the insult, before his face turned serious. He raised his hands and held them just in front of her face. “Do you trust me?”

            Rose didn’t speak at first; instead, she drew his hands up to the sides of her face and placing them in the position she knew they should be in.

            “More than I trust myself.”