Title: Guide Me and I Will Walk Through Flames
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Rose, Martha
Genre: Character Study
Summary: "‘I’m here Doctor,’ she says, and I feel her warmth—it’s not like the other hurt, this is different, this it love, not hate. ‘Be strong for me Doctor, be strong.’"
Author's Note: Takes place during 42.
Burning… Fire… Rage… Pain… Pain…
I can’t take it. It’s burning through me. My body, my mind, my soul—everything, it’s all being purged and burned away. My very existence is leaving. I won’t be me. I won’t live. I can’t live. I can’t make it.
I have to give up.
I did what I had to. I did.
They took its life away. They took and took, and now it’s trying to take back.
Take me, take me please. Make the burning stop.
Its words echo in my mind, burn with me, make them suffer, it’s her fault, burn with me, burn, burn, burn…
I feel their presence and the hate grows stronger. I hate what they did to it. I hate what they’re doing to me.
I can take their lives. I can take them all. I can.
They deserve to burn.
They deserve to die.
They deserve it.
‘No they don’t.’
The voice is soft, not like mine that screams in pain, or the sun’s that is becoming mine. It’s calm. It’s loving. Sweet like the smell of roses…
My Rose. My pink and yellow Rose, so far away, so lost.
I see her now.
Her image is blurry, distorted, but it’s here. She’s with me. I feel it. I feel her. I need her. My mind is shouting—screaming—Rose
Rose, help me, Rose…. Don’t leave me, Rose… Rose, I need you… I need you so much… Don’t leave me again… Save me, Rose… My savior… My Love… My breath… My life… My Rose…
I focus on her and the pain dims somewhat, her image is even clearer. I can make out her eyes now, not green and not brown, but not hazel either. They’re Rose colored. That’s the only way to describe them.
‘I’m here Doctor,’ she says, and I feel her warmth—it’s not like the other hurt, this is different, this it love, not hate. ‘Be strong for me Doctor, be strong.’
I can’t Rose don’t make me. Don’t make me be strong. Let me go. Don’t make me keep fighting. Let me die Rose. I’ll fight in your name forever if you tell me to, but don’t make me.
Oh, Rassilon it hurts.
‘My Doctor, my strong Doctor, I’m here. Promise me my beautiful, clever Time Lord. Promise me you’ll keep fighting.’
I promise, I don’t want to, but I will. Anything for you, Rose.
‘Think, Doctor, that’s it, think, your mind is not yet theirs, it’s yours. It’s yours forever. Keep it close.’
Hold it for me Rose, I’m losing. Keep it close, they’re going to freeze me. That’s good right? I might regenerate… I don’t want to die. I’ll live for you Rose. I promise. I always will. I promise.
‘Stay strong, it will work. I know it will. Strength Doctor.’ Her voice is slurring now, I’m losing my grip on her. I’m losing her. I’m losing. I won’t lose her. I can’t.
I’m so scared. Don’t leave me, don’t leave me.
‘I’m here, Doctor. Your Rose. I will always be here. I beat in your hearts. I hold the key to them. I’m here.’
I can’t Rose, I can’t. I’m sorry.
‘Hush, now, Doctor. Hold onto Martha, she’s there for you too. Hold onto me.’
Please, Rose let me go, let me die. I’ll never survive this, never ever. Let me die. Let me go. Let them take me.
‘Never say never ever, you remember that, right? Always remember that. You’re you don’t let them take it.’
She’s leaving. I made her leave. Tell me it’s over. Tell me it’s over. She’s safe. Tell me she’s safe.
‘She’s safe. She’ll save you. You only take the best. Believe in her Doctor.’
I believe in you.
‘I know Doctor, I know. She’s going to do it though. She is.’
It’s getting stronger. Rose, you told me it would get better. You promised.
‘It will. I’ll hold you while it’s bad, okay. Run Doctor. Run into my arms.”
I do. I conceal myself in her through the worst of it and wait for it to pass. It’s getting better. I can think.
‘My strong Doctor, never give up, ever. You can do anything—everything.’
If I make it through this…
‘When you make it through this.’
‘I’ll be in your hearts forever, Doctor. I’ll always be there. Always and forever. Just like I promised.’ Her image fades and I try to reach to touch her, but my hand slips through. ‘It’s almost over, Doctor. You did good. You can rest in a few seconds.’
I love you.
I’ll never stop.
She fades even more with her smile growing with confidence in me.
‘Hold her like you held me. She needs it. You need it.’
And, she’s gone.
Martha did it.
I can’t break my promise.